Pregnant Mother Criticized For Asking Husband To Choose Her Life Over Baby’s After Health Complications

Having a newborn is a highly exciting moment for new parents, but it can also be incredibly stressful and terrifying. There is a lot to learn in a short period of time, from which doctor is the best, to what proper diet and exercise plan will be best for the mother and the baby’s health, and so much more. Taking all of this into consideration, it’s not hard to see why many parents worry about the worst case scenario, as they need to make sure they are as ready as possible for anything to happen.

Back in 2019, a mom went to Reddit to share her pregnancy experience. She explained that her daughter had been born two years earlier, and although everything had ultimately worked out perfectly, there had been a number of problems along the way that necessitated some difficult conversations with her husband. The mother described having gestational diabetes toward the end of her pregnancy and being concerned for both her health and that of her unborn child.

Before she went into the hospital, she asked her husband that if it came down to it that he would choose to save her life over their baby’s. Unfortunately, this is something that impacts many families. According to the CDC, over 700 women die each year in the United States as a consequence of problems during pregnancy or childbirth.

Since then, many people have slammed the mom for her statements, including her own friends. She sought advice from Redditors on the subject and what she ought to do going forward.

A Tough Conversation

The original poster (OP) said in her Reddit post that she had "a really healthy pregnancy" but that she suffered gestational diabetes at 32 weeks because of her weight. Her doctor arranged a cesarean section for her delivery to guarantee the safety of both OP and the baby.

OP added, “So before going into the hospital I discussed with my husband that if something (were to happen) and he has to pick between myself and our kid to please choose me. He grew silent but added that he agreed…” Fortunately for the family, everything went according to plan, and both OP and the baby were completely fine.

Two years after bringing their daughter into the world, in 2019, the couple discussed wanting to have another child. OP said that she and some of her friends met up around the holiday time to talk about everything, and the conversation of babies came up.

OP clarified:

"I admitted that I wanted another child and that I wasn't afraid of getting pregnant or giving birth again. I said that I straight told my husband again that I’m scared that something may happened to me during the birth and in the hopes of giving my daughter a sibling I could leave her without a mother. If that's the case, the original agreement still stands and he must select me.

Sadly, her friends weren't on board with this and were rather "disgusted" by her comments. They called OP a “very negative person” for making herself and her husband imagine such horrible scenarios.

Considering Potential Futures

OP reasoned that she just wanted to plan for the worst case scenario, but hoped for the best. I didn't want my husband to be forced to make a decision or provide an immediate response, she continued. Nobody wants to examine what may go wrong, but she insisted that she had to take into account both positive and terrible scenarios.

Many Redditors supported the OP even though her friends weren't in her corner. Many readers spoke on how painful it would be to leave a child without his or her mother, and to have OP’s husband take on the duty of being a single parent.

One commenter replied, “You can have another baby, there can’t be another you. Additionally, it's none of their concern if your husband agrees. Another user said, “I told my husband the same thing and he agreed with me.”

OP replied to the comment thread, saying, “Thank you! Yes my husband admitted that he thought about the same case and was feeling awful that he wanted to save me. Therefore, he wasn't (forced).

Since then, OP has edited her post to explain that she plans on talking with her friends about how their comments hurt her. She said that she and her husband had prepared extensively for anything that may have arisen before she gave delivery. “People don’t like to think about the negative stuff during pregnancy but the dangers for the mother are tremendous, your body goes under so much,” OP added. “It also takes a mental toll on you.”
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